Things Assholes Say

Posted: September 7, 2012 in General Musings, Rant
Tags: , , , ,

“Well, of course you agree with him. He’s your husband!”—Every asshole ever

The funny thing is that even though this statement is insulting and dismissive of my ability to think critically and independently, if I call the asshole out on his bullshit, I get to be the cunt. It’s totally cool for him to say this kind of shit to me, but how dare I even suggest that he has been uncritical of his misogyny. I was just supposed to take it on the chin, good-naturedly and smiling—hell, I should even have agreed, because of course it’s true and I have nothing genuine or of value to say unless I’m disagreeing with my husband. Apparently, I signed away both my right and my ability to think and speak for myself when I signed my marriage certificate.

Oh, and I love this similar one too: “Of course you agree with her. She’s your wife.”

The amazing thing about these statements is that I lose in both cases. In the first one, I’m a brainless wife with no identity beyond the one her husband has assigned her. In the second one, I’m a ball-and-chain bitch who clearly withholds sex if my husband even considers revolting by having an original thought—in public no less! No matter how you put it, I’m the worse person. That is absolutely amazeballs.

And, yes. That’s exactly what those two statements mean.

So, guys—forgive the finger-pointing, but I’ve never heard a woman say either of these statements, while most men I know have said some version of them—if you wish to avoid asshole-hood, keep this in mind: if someone, especially a woman, is giving an opinion and it doesn’t coincide with yours, don’t dismiss it based on that person’s current romantic relationship. Even if this happens to be the case—I have witnessed this kind of relationship dynamic before—you’re still responsible for the verbal vomit you choose to share. Most likely, no one wants to share your vomit. Keep it to yourself.

/rant

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Comments
  1. if someone, especially a woman, is giving an opinion and it doesn’t coincide with yours, don’t dismiss it based on that person’s current romantic relationship

    That might require men critically listening to what others without a ‘peen have to say.

    Tall order.

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